Going to the Doctor: Mr. Parkinson's is doing well

On Tuesday, Gary and I went to see his doctor, a Tucson neurologist who, in addition to seeing patients, leads the University of Arizona’s Parkinson's research team.

A most personable man with an engaging smile, Dr. Sherman is arguably the best specialist working with Parkinson’s patients in the Tucson area. We are lucky to be able to see him. A couple of years ago, when we were looking for a new specialist, a friend from the Tucson office of the American Parkinson’s Disease Association made it possible for us to get on his schedule.

On the day of the appointment, Gary wrote a list of things he wanted to discuss. Although he is still in good shape for someone who’s had Parkinson’s for over ten years, the activities of life get a little harder each day.

He’s already breathing hard after just getting out of bed and putting on his compression stockings, which he wears for a condition other than Parkinson’s. He has trouble doing the finances unless he works on them in the morning, when he’s not so tired. (For those who don’t know, 20-40 percent of people with PD suffer cognitive difficulties and even dementia.) He’s losing strength in his legs. He’s noticing for the first time the “off” times when his meds aren’t doing their job, but it’s not time for the next dose.

There are more things on that list, and on some days they loom large. But after Dr. Sherman listened to Gary’s concerns, had him walk up and down the hall, and reviewed the notes the intern had taken earlier, he said, “Your Parkinson’s is doing very well.”

Or something like that. On the way home, Gary and I agreed that what Dr. Sherman meant to say was that in spite of worsening symptoms, Gary is doing well.

That’s true. Even though Gary is forced to make adjustments as his condition gradually worsens, he is still able to do things that make his life meaningful. For instance, he’s just discovered that he can bowl pretty darn well—on a Wii machine! That means a lot to a 300-bowler who’s had to give up the game because of balance issues.

A few years ago, Gary and I started responding to the question, “How are you doing?” with, “For where we are, we’re doing well.” It’s always the truth, no matter what our day has been like. It was our way of acknowledging that while we have some difficulties, we have many blessings and always find something to be grateful for.

I wonder if I’ll be able to see life that way later down the line, when Gary’s condition worsens and my days are more consumed with caregiving tasks. Maybe the years of slow decline are meant to give me time to build up my “caregiver muscle.” I hope I’ll be strong enough to take it on when it gets to that point. I hope I’ll always be able to find something to be grateful for.

But for now, Gary and I—and Mr. Parkinson’s—are doing well.